FYI / JAM WARS

PART ONE is for those who bought tickets for the forthcoming 'Metronomy Night' in the Kazimier on the premise of catching us open the show before sneaking out for a swift half in the Monro and jumping the last bus for an early night, for I must bear to you bad news. You can probably guess where this is going. Let me temper this with a classic good news bad news set-up. Ahem: your tickets for the night are still valid, but alas we wont be there. Don't tear up those passes in despair though, you've made a commitment and you should stick it out, even if your faves aren't going to be about (get on that rhyme, linguists). The last band on - I think they're the ones called Metronomy - are half decent if the print press is to be believed, so probably worth going down to see if their funk is worth the others' fuss. But yeah, in short we're not playing it so strike it from your official Carousel Calendars. (While I'm on that subject: anyone who pre-ordered but still hasn't received one of those classic pieces of merch in time for the start of term should consult their local post man, as it is he and not we that holds responsibility.)

PART TWO is where we enter the real meat of this blog post. Not actual meat, a significant percentage of the band has now expressed an interest in taking "the pledge" and cutting out the red (sometimes white) stuff all together. When I say meat I actually mean jam. And by jam I actually mean war. JW1, as it will be forever documented in the annals of time, sees the first significant battle take place next week when strawberry takes on raspberry. Note also that there are a few interesting undercurrents to this one: rival mothers, north/south divide and berry suitability being the pick of them. Don't hedge your bets because this one really is an open field. Now that pun fest is over we can look forward to the tastings. If you want to get involved bring bread, a blunt knife, appropriate footwear and also da ruckus. If you don't want to get involved just have in mind that it's already too late, and by persisting with this drivel up to this point you're already knee deep in stickiness without you even yet realising it. May I recommend that you stock up on wet wipes.